I sit on the bench, a lot, and I have a bird's eye view of people. They don't know that I'm observing them, and sometimes I'm not even aware of it myself. But, this particular instance gripped my heart and still pulls on my heart strings, and I feel compelled to share it with you.
Saturday morning's dress rehearsal called in the entire cast: orchestra, choir, drama team, media team, and even the children's choir. We all felt the excitement of the next day's performances. Christmas music filled the sanctuary as it flowed through our fingers, through our voices, and from our hearts, and I felt extremely good about the music because this year I was prepared. Or, so I thought.
Rehearsed and ready to go, I listened as our director called for the opening orchestral prelude. Oh, my gosh... I had forgotten all about that one!!! I had all the choir's music on my agenda, but had totally forgotten about anything and everything else, including the prelude. When I looked at the score, I knew I was in big trouble, and that this was not a piece I could jump in and successfully sight read. Even with a week's rehearsal, my fingers still might not be able to move as quickly as the tempo required, so I swallowed hard and tried not to panic or fall off the bench as the director began the downbeat.
It's a sinking feeling when you realize you are about to be exposed... when your mistakes are made public, and all those around you see your inadequacies and your faults. No one likes to stumble-fumble, especially in front of an audience, and it surely hurts our pride when we do. But, that's what happened to me.
The orchestra played through it once, then our director gave the call to play it again. So, I fell flat on my face twice. I was so embarrassed, and extremely mad at myself for my blunder, and I couldn't blame anyone else for this mistake, ah, these mistakes. This was my fault. It was one of those moments where you feel like a little kid again, a kid at school who hasn't done her homework. You know that feeling of when your head droops, and your shoulders drag the ground, and you wish you could crawl under the bed with a bag of cookies. I felt terribly low and needed a hug or a good cry! But, instead, I promised my "patient" musical director that I would know it by "tomorrow", and he smiled. Thank heavens he's a trusting soul!
Things improved from then on, I'm so glad to say, and there were no outstanding glitches in the music. My feelings of "rattledness" and low self-esteem began to fade away as the music flowed and lifted us all to a "higher" place. The choir in the loft sang boldly and beautifully, and the celebration of our Lord's birth was proclaimed through the many talents present in the room. All was well, once again.
When it was time for the children to come onstage, they enthusiastically jumped up and scrambled up the stairs to their proper places. One of our pretty girls tripped on the last two steps and did sort of a butterfly flittering with her arms & legs: quite graceful, actually, for a stumble. It wasn't that noticeable until she began her giggling and landed with a sort of unexpected "thud". She handled it very well. She landed upright, and nothing was injured, thank goodness. Everything was intact; nothing hurt, except her pride.
Ah, I knew that feeling all too well for I, also, had landed upright, but with wounded pride. She and I were now kindred spirits, and my heart ached for her. I knew exactly how she felt, and I wanted to tell her "there, there now... it's okay", but I didn't need to because someone else thought of it before I did; someone even more appropriate than I. Her daddy was in the orchestra, and he saw it all unfold. That man didn't miss a beat! As her giggling continued, he jumped up from his chair and hurried over to her and gave her one huge bear hug! He patted her lovingly on the shoulders and whispered something secretly in her ear. Then her daddy walked back to his assigned place in the orchestra and resumed his playing, while she joined in with her choir as if nothing had ever happened.
But something had happened. Something magical had just occurred, and I witnessed it firsthand. Her smile told more than she realized, and I breathed a sigh of relief for her. With that one unselfish act of kindness, love had filled the room, and there was so much of it that even I, way over on the piano bench, felt loved. Wow... it was a powerful experience! It was precious to watch, and it was a perfect picture of why we were there and of what we were all celebrating.
It's all about a father's love: the Christmas season. Isn't it? We all need it so desperately, and God our Father gives it abundantly to all who receive Him. We all stumble in our own ways... our pretty young lady, me, you, all of us... and there's nothing sweeter than love picking us back up and wrapping its arms around us and hearing it lovingly say, "there, there now... I love you, baby. It's okay, and everything's gonna be alright".
Mmmm... that's a mighty good feeling, and one I wish for all of us, whether we deserve it, or not. They say that love isn't love until we give it away. So, since this is the Christmas Season, let's find someone who needs a good ol' bear hug, and let's go out there together and share the Good News. There is a world out there who is hungry for someone to love them, and there is a Someone who does. His name is Jesus.
Christ is born, and He shall reign forever, and ever!
May God bless us, one and all today... and because we stumble, may we all keep a firm grip on our loving Father's hand.
Sincerely,
Cindy Lou
30And the angel said unto her, Fear not, Mary: for thou hast found favour with God.
31And, behold, thou shalt conceive in thy womb, and bring forth a son, and shalt call his name JESUS.
32He shall be great, and shall be called the Son of the Highest: and the Lord God shall give unto him the throne of his father David:
33And he shall reign over the house of Jacob for ever; and of his kingdom there shall be no end.
----Luke 1:30-33 New International Version Bible
