Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood

Beautiful day in the neighborhood, Arlington, Texas! Today's sunlight hid for six long, rainy days, and all  I want to do is dance around in the sunshine. When I do, I'm sure to find new green leaves on the hydrangeas and an opened daffodil or two. Spring is coming early this year, and I find great pleasure in that.

It's been a couple of years since you've heard from me, and that's because I was on a journey, a journey to find myself. I needed time to heal and to see if anything of "Me" was still alive after my mother Dimple left this earth and graduated to Heaven. It's been over three years now since her passing, and my grief and exhaustion from care-giving are now under control. My wounds are not raw, anymore. Nor are they exposed. They are, however, still a part of me. They travel right along with me and remind me that I am stronger than I thought, that I did survive it all, and that God is mightier than I ever imagined.

For these new seasons, I am grateful. Stepping into the future now feels like stepping into the sunshine. It's warm, welcoming, and intoxicating. With the past behind me, but still inside me, I open my arms to the new season and say, "Thank you for coming. I'm ready now...  Oh, yes, my friend.. it's time. Let's dance. Shall we?"

"And  God will wipe away every tear from their eyes."

Revelation 7:17 Holy Bible, New International Version 

@Copyright 2019 Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

"Stuck"

Where I sit today is a very cozy place to be.  I'm warm.  I'm safe.  I'm not being forced to labor, nor am I being forced to act like someone I'm not.  As a matter of thought, what force there is around me is one that comes from within, not from external sources.  When it's just me, I'm not sure that's a good thing.

My internal drive seems to be in "park" and rather "stuck" in the same place that it's been for awhile.  I feel like an old car that can't make it up the hill and my owner crammed scotch blocks behind my wheels to keep me from rolling backwards, careening down into some deep, dark crevice.  I can't get up enough steam to go forward, but I have dug in my heels so that I won't go backwards.  I am determined to not go there.

So, it's either "here, to stay" or "move forward" or "move sideways".  Sounds like some kind of dance, doesn't it?  Yes, come to think of it, that is exactly what it is.  It's life's dance, and I can sit it out, or I can join the party.

But, where I sit today is a very cozy place.  I'm warm.  I'm safe.  I have much to be thankful for, much to do, yet this twinge of unhappiness and dissatisfaction weigh me down like lead in my dancing shoes.  Like I said, when it's just me, I'm not sure that's a good thing.

Guess we all have days like this, especially when for several days the sun has hidden behind the clouds.  Guess we can't always be who we want to be.  Guess that's normal.  The fact is:  I need a friend today, and maybe, just maybe... that friend will ask me to dance, and together we'll make it up that hill.

Waiting for the sun to shine; believing it will,
Just a little blue for right now...
Cindy Lou

"Draw nigh to God, and He will draw nigh to you.  Humble yourselves in the sight of the Lord, and He shall lift you up."  ...Holy Bible, James 4: 8, 10

"Let us therefore come boldly unto the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy, and find grace to help in time of need."  ...Holy Bible, Hebrews 4:16

p.s.  I'm gonna' need these...

@Copyright 2010, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Just Dance

I reached for my fav coffee mug: "Dance as though no one is watching...", so I did. I danced a little jig. The kid in me loved it, then left it there. The adult in me just shook her head. The critic in me said that wasn't good enough. The artist in me suggested to add bkgrnd music, colored lights, and costume. Then the Spirit in me said, "Pay no attention to them, Honey... just do it.  Just dance!"  --posted on Facebook, Sept 7, 2010

Funny how much fun dancing can be if I can just "get over" my inhibitions.  I'm not a good dancer, at all, and no one has to point that out to me.  But, if I'm by myself I can pretend that I'm the bell of the ball, all poised & postured quite capable of gliding the waltz  and even doing the curtsy afterwards.  I can even imagine that I might be the vixen swaying to the bosa nova, and that I can't stop until this hot mama does the dubious tango dip.   I can imagine conquering the cha-cha step and the mambo rumba, as well as swan diving into my partner's awaiting arms.  Ah, yes... I can imagine, but that's about all that I can do.

Once upon a time, though, tap shoes were on my feet.  It was only for a short season when I was in kindergarten, and I can remember the sound of my taps on the plywood board.  Daddy cut the board just for me, and Mama allowed it to be set up in the living room (the only room with a TV).  The sound was muffled compared to the bright tapping sound of dancing on the concrete garage floor, and then there was this funny odor that I stirred up every time I danced on that unfinished piece of pine lumber.

Sometime in that same foggy memory, someone slipped a pair of scruffy silver ballet shoes with their black elastic straps onto my feet.  It embarrassed me.  Can't remember why, but my guess is that I knew, even back then, that I was not a dancer.  And, besides, when I walked in those ballet slippers they made scrunchy noises, and when I tried standing on my tip-toes... it hurt, big time!

Don't know who wore out first:  Mama & Daddy who gave up their living room, the dancing shoes with their elastic & ribbons ties, or me with my short attention span.  But, something happened to the dancing lessons.  They stopped when I started something else. 

So, now when I see my coffee cup that encourages me to dance as if no one is looking, I can't help but wonder if Mrs. Dye, my kindergarten teacher isn't behind the marketing of the slogan.  She saw me dance, and either she saw potential, or she saw disaster...  disaster, most likely.  No one will ever know because that was a very, very long time ago, and unfortunately she is no longer living.  But, either way, I like the saying, and I think I'll do just as it says.... dance as though no one is watching.  And if they are watching, and they don't like what they see, then they can just turn their heads and look the other way because, my friend, it's time to dance, and I can hear the music.  Join me, won't you?  I won't look if you won't!  Promise!



@Copyright, 2010 Cindy Lou Hodges, All rights reserved.