Will I Wake Up?

Question #1:  Will I wake up?
Answer:  Yes.
My Reply: Great!

Question #2:  If so, will I still be me?
Answer:  Yes.
Reply:  Darn.

I did wake up after a successful surgery.  The wearing-out body has been repaired, and I am on the mend, just about ready to take on the world.  But before I do, I have to figure out which "world" it will be. Will it be my "old world", the things I did prior to surgery, or will it be the "new world", the things yet to be discovered and experienced?

I had hoped that when I awakened after surgery, that I would be a blessedly different woman:  forty pounds lighter, twenty years younger, and ten times smarter would have been lovely.  I thought it possible that my vocal range might even increase an octave or two and that the novel brewing inside of me just might emerge, finally.  I dreamed that I just might wake up as a new, exciting woman... maybe even one that is mysterious and enticing, so much so that reporters clamor to ask me questions about who I am and photographers anxiously await my appearance, hoping to frame a snippet of me that no one else has ever seen.

That was the desired outcome.  It didn't happen.  There were no photographers, no reporters, no paparazzi.  I am not younger:  I actually am older.  I have not lost forty pounds:  maybe four.  I am not mysterious:  I am, pretty much, an open book, and certainly the idea of writing a novel must have been propelled by pain medications, or by the pain itself.  I don't know where that idea came from.

But, I did wake up, and I did wake up "blessed"...that, I know.  The desired changes didn't happen.  I am still "me", and "me" is what I have to work with.  So, I'm just going to have to get over my disappointment, trust God, deal with the reality, and change my attitude.  And, who knows... someday, I may give them something to write about, after all.

So, let's start over...

Question #1:  Will I wake up?
Answer:  Yes.
My Reply: Great!

Question #2:  If so, will I still be me? 
Answer:  Yes. 
Reply:  How about that... let's celebrate!

Look out world, old & new... here I come!

Sincerely,
Cindy Lou



@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.