If Only...

If only...

If only I had time to see,
if  time would wait for me,
then I would, I'm sure
give glory to the Giver.
Give praise for what I see.
Give thanks for all that's given,
but deadlines beckon me.

If only I would stop and listen,
take time so I could hear.
If only life would wait for me,
then I would, I'm sure,
listen to the music
that The Giver has given me.

But friends and family beckon.
Urgent moments drain my all.
So how can I still listen?
Still hear?
How can I see?

For this I should be grateful.
For all I should give praise.
I must take pause,
be still because,
What if...
God hadn't given to me?


Someone once said that the hard times define us, destroy us, or strengthen us.  Think I'll choose two out of those three:  define & strengthen, even though some days I wobble on the brink of disaster.

For me, the brink is built upon exhaustion:  physical and emotional.  For some reason the two go hand in hand, and they dare to pull each other over the edge.   But, like I said, I will choose to be defined or strengthened... not destroyed, for once destroyed, I cannot go back and try again.

Someone once said, "when you fall out of the saddle, climb back on it."  So, I do.  And, I have.  And now I ask just how many MORE times do I have to do that?  The answer is, of course... every time.  Every bloomin', every stinkin', every cotton-pickin' time!

Alas, if only I were "perfect".  If only I could enjoy all the "saddle rides", and if only I could enjoy the view from the "edge of brink".  Seems to me that these "if only's" are mere excuses for not doing what should be done.  They waste time.  They waste energy.  And they consume a part of me that is needed elsewhere.

So, I shall cease balking.  I shall quit procrastinating.  I shall stop whining.  I shall, and I will.  I will because it's all so much easier to handle when I take time, when I make time to be still... and to know God.

King David once wrote, "Commit your way to the Lord;  trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."  --Psalm 37:5-7

This is the way I look at it:  since this was the answer for King David, a mighty warrior and successful leader of tens of thousands, then why shouldn't it be the answer for me, a mere saddle-sore woman???  It's something to think about, for certain.

As I sign off and leave my desk, I go to get defined or strengthened, to find the music, to enjoy the view, and... just to be still, very, very still.

Thank you, God... for all you have given.

Sincerely,

Cindy Lou



@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.