Naptime

"Today I made the bed up before the clock said ten.
But now it's so inviting, I think I'll crawl back in!"   ...Cindy Lou
                                       --posted on Facebook, 9-24-2010

Ah, yes, on this dreary day the sound of rain lullabies me to sleep.  Even with two cups of coffee downed and a good night's rest, I feel the urge to curl up and take a nap.  "Who cares if you do?" you might ask, and my reply would be, "no one, but me, I guess."

It would be easy to take that nap, but hard to deal with myself if I do.  You see, I feel like Rip Van Winkle.  I feel as if I just woke up from a long, deep sleep, and the world has changed around me; and I, too, have changed without my knowledge or my permission.  I see myself in the mirror, and I think "that can't be me", and I see my house and think "what on earth happened?', and I look at the calendar and I protest "it's already the end of September, 2010?  What happened to 2009?"  What happened, indeed?

Life happened, and we as a family dealt with it as best we could.  We united around my mother as she battled a broken hip and life threatening complications that followed... for eleven months now.  Mother is better and is back at her house learning how to live without a hip joint and with a leg that is three inches shorter than it used to be. The staff infection is currently suppressed, and we all are adjusting to her new, challenging lifestyle.

Dimple is her name, and she is my hero, and so is my family.  So is God.  I know without a doubt that God carried us through this long-distant, long agonizing journey, and that my Mama is still with us because of God's mercy and the strong support teams he sent our way:  medical professionals, friends, and prayer warriors.  Thank you all for all you've done for us:  we would not be where we are today without you.  Your love made an incredible difference!  Your prayers we depended upon when we were too weary to whisper our own, and your patience with our absence (mental & physical) made us feel welcomed & accepted even though we were not 100% involved.

We never asked for this accident to happen, we only asked for it to pass.  What has passed is "time", and what is revealed is "life".  Put those two words together, and you have a "lifetime".  It's up to us to decide what we fill that lifetime with, and I'm grateful that I've filled the last eleven months with family & friends.  The messy house can wait, as it has.  The stress lines on my face and the extra pounds I've gained can be dealt with, one way or another.  And, as for the calendar, I will try to believe that it is what it says.

As for that snooze I wanted to take, the desire has passed without my realizing it.  What a parallel to the last eleven months.  They too, have passed without my being aware of it... almost a year now.  When I look back, I see that the impossible was made possible.  I see that some good things have developed from bad things.  And, I see that I was not alone, nor did I sleep the entire time like Rip Van Winkle.  I just put one foot in front of the other and did the best I could.  I lived life, and I hung on, as we all did:  as we all do.

So, there will be no nap for me today, and no scoops of ice cream, either.  I believe I will play the piano and maybe even clean my kitchen.  I will reflect upon God's goodness to me, and humbly say, "Thank you, Lord for your mercies and grace, and thank you for carrying me through this last year."   I may even say, "Thank you, Lord, that I can smile again, even on a rainy day.  It feels so good!"

Isn't it all amazing?  Amazing grace, yes... indeed!
Thank you, God... and thank you, friends.

Sincerely,
Cindy Lou


@Copyright 2010, Cindy Lou Hodges
All Rights Reserved