If Only...

If only...

If only I had time to see,
if  time would wait for me,
then I would, I'm sure
give glory to the Giver.
Give praise for what I see.
Give thanks for all that's given,
but deadlines beckon me.

If only I would stop and listen,
take time so I could hear.
If only life would wait for me,
then I would, I'm sure,
listen to the music
that The Giver has given me.

But friends and family beckon.
Urgent moments drain my all.
So how can I still listen?
Still hear?
How can I see?

For this I should be grateful.
For all I should give praise.
I must take pause,
be still because,
What if...
God hadn't given to me?


Someone once said that the hard times define us, destroy us, or strengthen us.  Think I'll choose two out of those three:  define & strengthen, even though some days I wobble on the brink of disaster.

For me, the brink is built upon exhaustion:  physical and emotional.  For some reason the two go hand in hand, and they dare to pull each other over the edge.   But, like I said, I will choose to be defined or strengthened... not destroyed, for once destroyed, I cannot go back and try again.

Someone once said, "when you fall out of the saddle, climb back on it."  So, I do.  And, I have.  And now I ask just how many MORE times do I have to do that?  The answer is, of course... every time.  Every bloomin', every stinkin', every cotton-pickin' time!

Alas, if only I were "perfect".  If only I could enjoy all the "saddle rides", and if only I could enjoy the view from the "edge of brink".  Seems to me that these "if only's" are mere excuses for not doing what should be done.  They waste time.  They waste energy.  And they consume a part of me that is needed elsewhere.

So, I shall cease balking.  I shall quit procrastinating.  I shall stop whining.  I shall, and I will.  I will because it's all so much easier to handle when I take time, when I make time to be still... and to know God.

King David once wrote, "Commit your way to the Lord;  trust in him and he will do this:  He will make your righteousness shine like the dawn, the justice of your cause like the noonday sun.  Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him."  --Psalm 37:5-7

This is the way I look at it:  since this was the answer for King David, a mighty warrior and successful leader of tens of thousands, then why shouldn't it be the answer for me, a mere saddle-sore woman???  It's something to think about, for certain.

As I sign off and leave my desk, I go to get defined or strengthened, to find the music, to enjoy the view, and... just to be still, very, very still.

Thank you, God... for all you have given.

Sincerely,

Cindy Lou



@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Peanut Butter Crispies

Here's a fall snack that's extremely easy to prepare.  My suggestion:  buy 2 boxes of Rice Chex cereal because these disappear before you know it!

1 cup white Karo syrup
1 cup white granulated sugar
1 cup peanut butter, creamy or crunchy
1 box Rice Chex cereal


Simplest Directions:  melt the sugar, syrup & peanut butter in a big sauce pan.   Add cereal.  Stir until coated.  Pour out in mounds.  Let cool.

My Way:  Pour out half the cereal into a large mixing bowl.  In sauce pan, combine karo syrup and sugar until melted together.  Stir in peanut butter until well blended. Pour half of peanut butter syrup over cereal.  Quickly add remaining cereal, then syrup mixture.  Stir until cereal is coated. Scoop spoonful sizes onto wax paper.  Let cool.  Store in airtight container to stay fresh.


This is a delicious light snack that my niece shared at our family reunion.  It's very difficult to eat just one, so beware... it is addictive!

@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Will I Wake Up?

Question #1:  Will I wake up?
Answer:  Yes.
My Reply: Great!

Question #2:  If so, will I still be me?
Answer:  Yes.
Reply:  Darn.

I did wake up after a successful surgery.  The wearing-out body has been repaired, and I am on the mend, just about ready to take on the world.  But before I do, I have to figure out which "world" it will be. Will it be my "old world", the things I did prior to surgery, or will it be the "new world", the things yet to be discovered and experienced?

I had hoped that when I awakened after surgery, that I would be a blessedly different woman:  forty pounds lighter, twenty years younger, and ten times smarter would have been lovely.  I thought it possible that my vocal range might even increase an octave or two and that the novel brewing inside of me just might emerge, finally.  I dreamed that I just might wake up as a new, exciting woman... maybe even one that is mysterious and enticing, so much so that reporters clamor to ask me questions about who I am and photographers anxiously await my appearance, hoping to frame a snippet of me that no one else has ever seen.

That was the desired outcome.  It didn't happen.  There were no photographers, no reporters, no paparazzi.  I am not younger:  I actually am older.  I have not lost forty pounds:  maybe four.  I am not mysterious:  I am, pretty much, an open book, and certainly the idea of writing a novel must have been propelled by pain medications, or by the pain itself.  I don't know where that idea came from.

But, I did wake up, and I did wake up "blessed"...that, I know.  The desired changes didn't happen.  I am still "me", and "me" is what I have to work with.  So, I'm just going to have to get over my disappointment, trust God, deal with the reality, and change my attitude.  And, who knows... someday, I may give them something to write about, after all.

So, let's start over...

Question #1:  Will I wake up?
Answer:  Yes.
My Reply: Great!

Question #2:  If so, will I still be me? 
Answer:  Yes. 
Reply:  How about that... let's celebrate!

Look out world, old & new... here I come!

Sincerely,
Cindy Lou



@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

September

September

Temperatures drop.
Tempers cool.
Dust rides the breeze.
Summer's scorn still scorches
Earth, lakes...memories.

Grasslands beg for mercy.
Sun-dried soil's too dry to weep.
But, I believe in Texas
September does not sleep.

Press on, my state of Texas.
Oh, bend your stubborn knees.
Seek him who sends September...
Seek him who never sleeps.

Oh, long, long sought September...
Send rain, stop drought,
Break heat.
Oh, God, who sends September...
Restore, remember... me.
             --Cindy Lou Hodges

                          
One of the worst droughts in history is plaguing  my home state of Texas.  Record heat waves of temperatures 100 degrees or higher wreck havoc upon health, agriculture and ranching industries.  For nature, there is no escape from the sweltering heat, other than rain... blessed rain.  Let us return to our roots of faith, as we fall down in prayer and humbly ask God to send us rain... sweet, blessed rain.  

Praise God from whom all blessings flow!  Blessed be the name of the Lord...!

    
                 
                        __________________________________________

                                            SCRIPTURE REFRENCES

"Confess your faults one to another, and pray one for another, that ye may be healed.  The effectual fervent prayer of a righteous man availeth much.  Elias was a man subject to like passions as we are, and he prayed earnestly that it might not rain:  and it rained not on the earth by the space of three years and six months.  And he prayed again, and the heaven gave rain, and the earth brought forth her fruit."
--Holy Bible, James 5:16-18

"For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and his ears are open unto their prayers:  but the face of the Lord is against them that do evil."
--Holy Bible, I Peter 3:12

"And I say unto you, Ask and it shall be given you;  seek and ye shall find;  knock, and it shall be opened unto you."  --Holy Bible, Luke 11:9

                        __________________________________________


@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Dear Dimple: Twisties

Dear Dimple Dilemma,

Where have all the twisties gone?  You know, those little three inch wire things covered with paper?  Whenever I am at the grocery store, bagging my fruits & vegetables, I reach for a twistie, but the container is empty!  So, I move on down the aisle to another roll of plastic bags to get a twistie, but there aren't any there either!  Then, when I am at home, toasting a piece of bread or two... I reach for the twistie that I just took off the loaf of bread... but, it's gone!  I can't find it anywhere!

So, tell me... What on earth happens to all the twisties?  Is it just me or are there "twistie thieves" out among us?

Sincerely,
Cindy Lou


Dear Cindy Lou,

Rest assured, dear, that you are not the only one that has twistie troubles.  Why, I, too, suffer with the same stressful situation.  However, there have been a few times that I hit the jackpot at the grocery store and happened upon full cups of white, or yellow, or black, or green or even gold twisties.  When that happens, it is time to take action.

Do as I do... go to the store early in the day.  Your chances of finding a full cup are greater in the morning; Monday morning, Tuesday morning, Wednesday... as many days as it takes to find them.   When you do finally see the prized trophies, grab all you can, and cram them into your purse.  Did I mention you should take your biggest purse with you?  Or, if that bothers your conscious, you can wrap not just one twistie, but several twisties around your filled produce bag.  If you use a dozen twisties, you can turn them into a pretty little flower.  :)


Now, for your situation at home, gremlins or ghosts take the twistie as soon as you take your eyes & hands off of it.  They, too, suffer with a shortage of twisties.  So, for Pete's sake... smarten up and don't ever turn loose of your twistie!   That's the golden rule of the kitchen.... twisties are like gold in your pocket!  But, if that fails, and you just can't keep track of that one twistie, try duct tape.  It now comes in a rainbow of colors, and you can even color coordinate with your kitchen!

And finally, if none of the above suggestions work for you, come on over to my house.  I have outsmarted the conniving, little twistie thieves, and  I just happen to have some white ones, some yellow ones, some black ones, some green ones and even some gold ones.... Yep... I have a cupboard full!

Lovingly,
Dimple Dilemma


@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

The Prayer Meeting

He stared at her as if he could "eat her up", and they were in church!  Scandalous, I tell you... but, oh what a nice compliment!  She hadn't felt that special in a long, long time, and there was something in his eyes that made her long to look back at him... made her long to link gazes.  But, she didn't dare.

The prayer meeting crowd was smaller than usual, probably due to the summer heat and summer vacations, but those attending were somehow refreshed just by gathering together.  High numbers of people aren't required for the Spirit of God's presence:  humble hearts are.

She had never seen him before at church, so "he must be a visitor", she thought.  Most likely he was a relative of Matthew's, since they were sitting together.  He could even be Matthew's father.  They did resemble each other, and the age difference was fitting.  But, his stare made her uneasy.

She wondered if he thought he knew her.  She wondered if she had met him once before, but had somehow forgotten their friendship;  no, relationship... for this stare was more than just a glance. Many questions raced through her mind before he spoke, but none as persistent as the question, "Why is he so focused on me?"  

When they were introduced, his intensity continued as he asked her name.  He smiled and repeated her name, twice:  frontwards & backwards... then he commented on her matching silver jewelry.  She agreed that everything was silver except her wedding ring.  Nervously she held up her left hand showing the gold band, while giggling to cover up her discomfort.  Why had she offered this information?  Obviously he was fishing and she fell for it. "What a nitwit", she thought, disappointed in herself, not that she was married, but that she had not recognized a come on.

Gaining her composure, she changed the direction of their conversation by asking questions about him.  He was indeed Matthew's dad, and the more he spoke, the more she liked him.  Handsome looking in his khaki's and "tucked in" shirt, there was something captivating about his manner.  He spoke eloquently of his current life, lovingly about his Italian heritage,  and passionately about his war history.  He was a World War II veteran, and proud of it, as he should be.  "Navy?"  she asked.  "Yes, how did you know?" 

Then...  they were interrupted.  Their conversation was over.  A member of the congregation greeted him and thanked him for coming, while someone pulled her aside chatting about nothing important and certainly nothing memorable.  Sadly, she turned away from him, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw him glancing back... at her.

She still thinks about him.  He had a certain way about him that made her feel special, and... well, important... just by paying attention to her.  "It isn't forbidden, is it," she wonders,  "to enjoy feeling special?"

His gaze, his body language, his intensity... oh, they were powerful.  Probably four to five minutes is all they had together, but compared to a lifetime, that is such a brief moment.  World wars, cultural differences, twenty-five years of age, and her marriage separated them, but somehow, at that time and place...none of that  mattered.  For that four to five minutes, that one Wednesday night, they belonged to each other... and it made for a very, very interesting prayer meeting.




@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Rain

Rain

Long awaited,

longed for

rain.

Heaven's teardrops that we prayed

not sooner, not harder,

not longer for...

long awaited,

longed for

rain.

--Cindy Lou Hodges

Our state of Texas is suffering from one of the worst droughts in history.  Finally, it rained today.

"Praise God from whom all blessings flow...!"

@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Pink Plastic Plates

"You begin to move mountains when you start carrying away small stones."

                                                  -  Doris A. Dillon, Randleman, North Carolina

What I call the "Pink" plate!

I think she was talking about my kitchen counter.  Have you seen my bar lately?  Of course not.  You can't possibly see it because of all the clutter that's on top of it!  Yesterday I saw it as my mountain.  Today I see it as... well, shoot.  It's still my mountain... and a darn, BIG one!

Others might view it as a dumpster:  some, a treasure chest... still others, a laundry basket.  I don't dare drop clean underwear on it, but single black socks get dropped there all the time, waiting for the missing mates.  Eye glasses are supposed to be there, but I can never find a pair that has both lenses still intact.  Receipts, recipes, coupons... you name it... it's all there.  Library books sit there so long that they have to be returned before they are opened, and silk floral arrangements sit there until they sprout roots.

I did make progress this morning, though.  Yesterday my mother asked me about the pile of plates on the bar, and it embarrassed me that my mother hinted at what I should do.  So, when she makes it into the kitchen today, she will see that I have dealt with the issue, one at least.

The stack of 12 plastic melamine plates, the new ones from Target, is now a stack of eight.  I finally decided that I have not been able to decide what to do with them because I don't want to say goodbye to the four pink ones.  I like them.  They are really pretty, and, "No, I don't have anything else pink in my kitchen."  But, I like them... and after only three months, I realized that!  So, I jerked off the stickers, and now they are mine to keep.  The others... well, they are rather weird looking with their navy blue & white swirls, and I'm already sick of looking at them.  They make me dizzy.  I hope the store will take them back.  If not, maybe I can use them as a "Get Well" present for someone.  Maybe not.

Anyway, I have moved stones today:  stones disguised as dinnerware.  And... if I deal with the eight "weird"  plates, and return them to the store, and if I wash and put in the cupboard the four pink plates... then, I will have dealt with a dozen items... a dozen stones.  That's a pretty good number, don't you think?  And, a darn good accomplishment for a procrastinator who is really skilled at her profession.

Wonder if I could make a living at procrastinating... hmmm...  that would take some creative thinking, and I am good at that. But, I'll think about that a little bit later.  Right now,  I have eight plates to bag, four plastic plates to wash... the four pink, plastic ones...and stones hanging around my neck that are really bothering me. I think it's time to deal with them, and I really should do something about them.

Know anybody that needs a droopy silk floral arrangement?
Seen any extra black socks?
Even one?

Changing the world, one stone at a time...
Cindy Lou



p.s.  Thank you, Lord, that I have the time to sit and think about such little things.  Direct me towards your purpose today, and help me sort through the issues that matter and those that don't.  Direct my feet, direct my actions, and fill my heart with your goodness so that what I "dish out" today will be filled with your love.  I want to do better... really, I do, but I can't do it by myself.  Thank you, Jesus... Amen.

@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Heaven & Hope

In her last few days of waking up from fourteen hour naps, she confirmed that there is a heaven.  Many gifts she gave to me, gifts for me to keep.  But this gift, this gift I dare not keep to myself.  This gift is to be shared.  So, allow me to share my Aunt Lucy with you...

Aunt Lucy had no children of her own, so she treated us nieces and nephews as royalty.  And, when her health crisis struck, we were there for her:  taking turns sitting with her at the hospital and the nursing facility.  The doctors told us that most likely she would live only a few more weeks, but Aunt Lucy had other ideas.  She lingered for more than three months.

Those months wore on and on.  We were exhausted from our sleepless nights, we were frazzled from dealing with incompetent health care workers, and we were brokenhearted that this was how Aunt Lucy was living her last days on earth.  She had no pain, surprisingly.  For this we were grateful.

Since I did not handle the night shift very well (too many noises and interruptions), the morning shift became mine.  I was there as the morning light sifted through the blinds, wondering what each day would bring.  And to my amazement, Aunt Lucy's waking murmurs intimately described what she was experiencing.

With eyelids still closed from sleeping, she clearly spoke, "Oh, how beautiful... oh, how beautiful!" over and over again.  Not just one day, but several days in a row.  As this new phenomenon continued, her intensity of sharing grew.  I would sit as close to her as possible, taking in her every word, making sure I understood what she was saying.  I understood the words.  I never questioned their meaning.  I only questioned why I was the  chosen one to be by her side during these times.

Another morning as she awakened, she clearly said,  "Oh, there's Mama.  She's waving to me.  She looks so pretty.  She's standing by the gate.  Oh, how beautiful... oh, how beautiful!"  Then she would drift back to sleep for a short, peaceful nap.

Now, I know it is just our human nature to see our mothers as we near death.  It is a completion of  life's cycle. But the next vision she shared makes even the skeptics stop and give pause.  Lucy saw someone else awaiting her... someone else waving to her.  It was her Aunt Claudie.

The family had not told Lucy about her aunt's passing away three months prior.  Not to agitate or upset her, we had kept it secret from her that we buried her Aunt Claudie on the day of  Lucy's own surgery.  It was a difficult, sad day for us...  burying one Auntie, maybe saying goodbye to another.  But, we rallied together and, somehow, kept going.

In her vision, Claudie also was standing by the gate, waving... "Oh, there's Aunt Claudie... She looks so pretty.  What a pretty dress.  Oh, how beautiful... oh, how beautiful!"  Then she continued to awaken and become part of this earthly world again, her visions fading and her smile weakening.  Clearly, our beloved aunt was straddling the line between two worlds.  She drifted from one to the other with ease and grace, and all we could do was hold her hand and offer her chips of ice.

As for me, my spirit soared with joy and the affirmation that there is a heaven, and that I will see my loved ones once again!  But, my tears could not stop, and I could not define the line between tears of sadness and tears of joy.  How do you separate the two since they are joined by the heart?  I knew that I had been given a glimpse of glory and of what is, and what is to come for all of us believers!  But that gift came with a price, and it cost me my Aunt... cost all of us our beloved Lucy.  To this day, I still think, "What an incredible experience given to me in that one small room, stuck in a corner, in a nursing home in the little town of Calera, Oklahoma!"

The last comment Aunt Lucy shared made me dig in my Bible.  And sure enough, I found in *Revelation 5:8 what she was experiencing.  "Oh, how beautiful..." she whispered.  And smiling she said, "Mmmm... it smells so good."  "Can you smell it?"  she asked.  "It smells so sweet.  Oh, oh... oh, how beautiful!"

And, then late one evening... her earthly body wore out, and she left us. Her spirit went on to that beautiful place, but she did not leave us hopeless.  I know that she joined Jesus, and I know that she had loved ones waiting for her, because she told me so.  What a joyous reunion it must have been... one planned and blessed by God!

So, my friend, since Aunt Lucy so willingly and lovingly shared who she was and what she saw... I pass this on to you.  I don't want her to be forgotten, and her message must live on.   She gave us all many gifts, but the greatest gift of all is the gift of hope!   There is a Savior, and He has prepared a place for us... a beautiful one with my loving Grandmother and my aunties... one that smells so sweet... and one that has a gate!

Now, that's a promise... "Oh, oh... oh, how beautiful!"

Sincerely,
Cindy Lou


* "...and they were holding golden bowls full of incense, which are the prayers of the saints."  --Holy Bible, Revelation 5:8  (This is what Aunt Lucy was smelling that smelled so sweet.)

 
"Do not let your hearts be troubled.  Trust in God, trust also in me.  In my Father's house are many rooms;  if it were not so, I would have told you.  I am going there to prepare a place for you.  And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am."  --Holy Bible, John 14:1-3
(This verse is one Aunt Lucy used to comfort us before her surgery.  She quoted it from memory.)


Verses for reference:


"For all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God..."  --Holy Bible... Romans 3: 23

"For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord." 
-- Holy Bible... Romans 6:23

"Jesus answered, 'I am the way and the truth and the life.  No one comes to the Father except through me.' "   --Holy Bible... John 14: 6

"That if you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved."  --Holy Bible... Romans 10:9




@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

My Morning Prayer...

Morning calls as dove greet dawn.
I arise, not knowing what day may bring.
Aware I am
that I can choose
just how I shall join in
with family, friends, with tasks, and toil
for I am alive....
let my day begin.

I can be a stumbling block,
a stump, a stick in the mud.

I can be a babbling brook.
Babbling I do well.

Perhaps the breeze is calling me
to join in its ballet...

Or fire, oh the mighty flame
devouring its prey...

Or light that shines,
illuminates,
presses darkness to its grave.

What life give I upon this day?
That's for me to say.

--Cindy Lou Hodges

Heavenly Father, only you can provide what I need today, and I praise you for your mercy and goodness.  Thank you, Lord, for lifting me, once again.  May I do the same for others and do it with a cheerful heart.

Sincerely me...
Cindy Lou

@Copyright 2011, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.

Car Wash Blues

Today I got the car washed.
'Twas a big, big job

'cause it was really dirty.

It had caked-on blobs...

Blobs of greasy, grimy dirt

and lots and lots of mud.
Boy, was that car dirty
with the slush and slime and crud...

Crud from all the city streets,

the ones they're working on
with the trenchers and the asphalt.
Oh, when will they be gone?

Gone to other streets in town

so someone else can sob,

Cindy Lou

"Today I got the car washed...

'Twas a big, big job!"


@Copyright 1988, Cindy Lou Hodges All Rights Reserved.